My Story

mystory.gifI was born into a family active in organized group ritualistic and sadistic pedophilia. Along with profiting from child pornography and prostitution, the group was also networked to people involved with government medical and behavioral experimentation programs. Many abused children were used as subjects in these programs, their parents were complicit or easily coersed.

From earliest memory I was subjected to unspeakable acts of torture. It occurred within private settings, such as family /group gatherings, and at research facilities during experimentation sessions. The torture included: food, water, sleep, and sensory deprivation; confinement; multiple sexual assaults; electroshock; burials; and other near-death experiences. I was also forced to witness and participate in acts of violence and cruelty.

My responses to the brutality, such as dissociative reactions including amnesia, were intentionally manipulated. This manipulation is called Trauma-Based Mind Control, or perhaps more appropriately, Torture-Based Mind Control. The intent was to ensure that I would remain loyal to the family/group and unaware of government use and experimentation. The people who subjected me to this process knew exactly what they were doing. Despite years of therapy, it was not until my late thirties when I began to discover the other side of my life.

Trauma-Based Mind Control is essentially the combination of operant  conditioning techniques (Pavlovian reward and punishment)  with the amnesiatic features of dissociation. It is the deliberate infliction of trauma to produce predictable dissociative reactions and the subsequent manipulation of those reactions. The result of this kind of conditioning and torture is the creation of multiple personality systems whose alter aspects are vulnerable to external control. The goal of cults, organized crime groups, governments, and other mind control perpetrators is to supplant the victim's original personality with trained, perpetrator-loyal alters. Quoted from a high ranking program doctor: "We do not break her will, we make her will our will."

To learn a few specifics about how alter systems are trained, which is called "programming", view my journal drawings to the left.

The video below, made to document a recent art show, reviews some conditioning and torture methods.

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More of My Story

Interview in Mad Hatter's Review 2006

SMART Conference presentation 2006

Franklin & Madeline Art Show 2007

Survivorship Webinar 2010

SMART Conference presentation 2010

Art site

Go Ahead and Tell Me... journal project 2012